Well this is it... the last week of 2010. Man has it been a crazy kind of year. But I am not like alot of people who say "Man am I glad this year is over!". Have I wished it at times? Heck yeah!!! But you know every year, every minute is another minute that we all get and have to live. And I don't mean just wake up and breathe, I mean LIVE!!! And even with all of the highs and lows I would not change this last year, or anything that I did or happened. It is what has given me growth. Even the "Cancers" that were eliminated were there for a reason. Now I could sit here and berate them and what they did and blame them for this and that but what would be the point? They know the truth regardless. That it wasn't just one person, and it wasn't just me. And most people only choose to see the reality they create, so when the truth does come out, it's their own fault really. So the truth is, no I do not regret anything this last year, or years past. People make their own choices. And good, bad, or otherwise I make no apologies for myself. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. I do take my friends and family into consideration always. But in the end it's my life.
I have wonderful friends who accept me for who and what I am and believe and for the most part do not try to change me. Because I have no intentions of changing. I like who I am. I love to read, I love music of all kinds, I love the arts, I am independent. I am fiercely protective and loyal. I have been very blessed to have many talents, that I have finally learned to accept and be proud of. I am vain in that I do take care of myself. I may not exercise everyday, but I try to stay healthy. I do put on makeup everyday. I get my nails and toes done. I think it is very important I look good for me and my man. I don't make excuses. I just do it. I cook, I love to cook and I am good at it. I know I am a good mother. My children are wonderful, loving, kind human beings. I am very proud of them and their reflection of me.
I have a man who loves me passionately and very deeply. I don't try to change him or give my love boundaries or him boundaries. I let him be who he is. I find absolute joy in taking care of him and doing things for him. I love pleasing him. I love making him feel like a man... and not some emasculated shell of what should be a man. I know my place with him...(But that is another blog entirely)
I get to do what I love for a living and the people I hold as family and friends support this full heartedly and I appreciate it more than mere words can express.
I am educated, funny, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and so many other great things. Yes I am bragging and saying I am complex :) but that is what we should be as humans. And I strive constantly to be better and to learn and glean knowledge from this life and past year. I love camping, and fishing, and anything outdoors. I love sports and am very competitive... And I hope to do more of it.
I have love, family, friendship, and health.... and this last year truly has been a really good year, and a year I do not regret.... and I do not have to lie to myself or others about that. Do I have a June Cleaver kind of life? HELL NO!!! And I would not want that.... but what I do have, and will have is great, and I have no complaints.
So here's to 2011 may it be filled with as much excitement, adventure, love, ups and downs as 2010 otherwise, why live... and what would be the point of looking forward?
Well, I am finally doing it. I am writing a blog. Why the name? Well to be honest I love shoes, it is my fetish if you will. And I really do have the cutest horse hair zebra pumps you have ever seen. I loved them the minute I set my eyes on them. Red soles and a little bow. They are sort of Rock-a-billy, and I also just love Rock-a-billy and most things 50's. In the 80's Rock-a-billy became huge, and of course I raided all of my mothers things. And that is when I fell in love with shoes...pumps.
My mother was a fashion horse or now we call them fashionistas. My mother had tons of beautiful clothes. And everything coordinated. Her shoes, belts, scarves, accessories...everything!!! Well she had these stiletto spectator pumps, black and white, with leather soles. I fell in love.. and I would sneak them out and wear them with my pencil skirts to school... walking. Okay I was young and did not appreciate these amazing pumps(and their cost!!) but I just loved them. So I walked to school and home and would sneak them back. Of course mom found out eventually, not many of us thought to be a little more cognizant of taking impeccable care of our things... teenagers.
And let me tell you, my mom had this utterly amazing full length, lined gorgeous, red wool coat... Oh My God!!! that is for another post in itself. Needless to say, like I said my mother had amazing clothes.... and that is where I think I got this obsession for all things fashion, among other things that I inherited from her.
Unfortunately I am not one of those OC women they show you on t.v. living high on the hog. To be honest, that is a small percentage of who REALLY live in the OC. Most of us work very hard for what we have... and sometimes what we have is getting by, by the skin of our teeth. So I do not shop at Nordstroms, but at Target, or at outlet stores. Yes I have been in Nordstroms, but that was to get from the parking lot into the mall it's self...lol. Am I vain, yes. Am I horribly vain? No. I just like to take care of myself and look good. I love shoes and clothes, but you will probably never find me paying $100 for a pair of jeans (shoes...different story!!). I am not knocking those who do, I just don't understand it. Now don't get me wrong, I love places like Sephora, I do buy expensive and quality makeup alot of the time, but then I also stop at Walmart and get blush, or mascara, but for foundation or powder, I try to treat my skin to better products... and eye shadow in my opinion you cannot beat Clinique and Lancome, or Nars.
But I am me... and I am a dichotomy of so many things and I am not what you see on t.v. or envision in your mind about what a woman in Orange County Calif. And the reality is... most of us aren't. So I hope you enjoy my thoughts (as scattered as they are) and my blog.
