Thursday, December 30, 2010

How Womens Lib screwed things up

Now I am sure I will get a ton of crap from my independent, "I don't need a man" women friends... or from any woman like this... And that is fine I can handle that. But this is MY blog after all and this is my opinion and feelings on the subject. So if it really does irritate you move on to a different less controversial post. My feelings are not hurt.

But I really do believe this, the Women's lib movement screwed up the order of things.

Women are really funny and contradictory creatures, confusing at best. We want to work, but we want to stay at home. We want to dress sexy, but you aren't allowed to look or comment otherwise that's harrassment. We want our doors held open, but how dare you order for us. We want to be one of the guys, but don't smack us on the ass. We want to be hard assed corporate executives but then cry in the bathroom because no one likes us and calls us "Bitches"..... sorry ladies, you can't have it both ways.

"What??!!" you say...? No we really cannot have it both ways. We cannot have it ALL with out consequences.... What are those consequences? Well look at our men now a days....

Used to be we ALL knew our "roles" in life... and I truly do think most people were happy. Women are strong, compassionate, passionate, intelligent, gentle, loving creatures. We love, we take care of, we nurture.... that truly is how we were made. We were never meant to be "One of the guys".  We have soft, wonderful, sexy, supple curves and crevices... that we were meant to love and embrace. Not be ashamed of or starve to death. We were meant to love and nurture the things in our lives. We were meant to be our men's partners but not their equals.

We were not meant to play professional football or hockey. We were not meant to be the ruler of the house or the "One" in charge. We weren't meant to "Wear the pants" in the family.

Now I am not trying to take away our ability to vote... or to work... or any of the things we have gained... but I feel we have really forgotten our places... We are not the hunters, we are not the masters and we are not supposed to be ball busting, man emasculating creatures.

We want a strong man, yet how dare he tell me my place or what to do. We want a man to protect us, but only when we want it. We want the door held open, and the check paid for, but we don't want to give and inch in return, and then throw our much larger salary in their face to boot. No wonder men don't know what end is up. Women commiserate "Where are all the Gentlemen? The Good guys?" Well we have pounded the hell out of them....emasculated them.... taken away what made men....MEN. And yes ladies, that is our fault entirely.

We want that strong, masculine, savage, passionate, knight on his white horse to come sweep us off our feet... but only on our terms and with rules and restrictions. How many women out there dangle all kinds of goodies on the end of their relationship hook to nab that, badboy, or handsome devil.... only to bait and switch. How many women think "Once I marry him, he'll change because he loves me"?  "He'll change, I can change him. I can "Fix" him"? A lot of you.... probably 95% of women do this crap to men.  Did he tell you he needed fixing? Did he tell you he needed to change or was unhappy with who and what he is and was? Did he try to change you? I am pretty sure the answer to these questions are a resounding NO!!

Oh and my favorite... women who use sex as a weapon. That is wrong on so many levels. What women don't get is that for men sex is one of the ways they express love and desire. And it is a way they release their stress and tension. Women always want romance and flowers and candles every single time...sorry but sometimes men just want what they want.... but as women if we don't get what we want... we deny and pout. Close ourselves off.... don't communicate. Guess what ladies... they are not mind readers. They ARE NOT going to get your subtle little hints. They may be gentlemen or even bad boys, but deep down inside they are cavemen and yes you do need to draw it out for them... in a loving way.

Our place is not to be the boss, running the roost the "Man..." oops I mean "Woman" in charge. Sorry, we should not be their equals.... we should be partners and talk things out and come to an agreement (usually) together... but in the end our MEN should be the boss, the ruler of his kingdom, the master of his domain. Otherwise why would he have all those sexy muscles we adore? :)

We are meant to defer to them, to take care of them. To support them, to encourage them. To submit to them... they are meant to protect us, take care of us, nurture us, support us as well. This is their place, and ours.

Women want it all, but can't handle it. And we wonder why things fail, why we fail. Why we never seem complete, content or happy. And women feel "Hell no if I am going to let a man run things or tell me this and that!!" Really?? and where has that attitude gotten you? Where did it get me? In an unhappy situation or relationship? Were you sitting there with this beaten down, confused, emasculated man, who finally lashed out and said "Enough is enough!!"? A man who wants to smoke cigars, go hunting, spend some time with "The Boys", poker nights...etc. and that is if you are lucky. What man wants to live with a shrew or a harpie... who constantly finds fault and complains... the house is always a mess, she's let herself go... no dinner... consumed with herself and her job, and the only time they are intimate is when she wants to conceive or isn't angry at the world? Would you want this woman? I sure as hell wouldn't! And what is so hard about getting your butt up and walking, eating healthy, putting that "Tommy's" down. Brush your your hair, paint your nails, put on a little makeup. Look good for him... wear something besides sweats and over sized shirts. Cotton panties and bras...yuk!! I mean you trade in your car if you haven't kept it up...seats cracked and paint chipped...all run down.... So don't be surprised if the same happens to you because you got married and stopped caring or got "Too busy". You don't need surgery or invasive crap.... just care. Take care of yourself. And NO "He should not love you the way you are." That isn't how it works ladies. If you don't care, why should he?

And what was so wrong with the 1950's? The woman at home taking care of the kids, the home, and her man... Him out working, bringing home the bacon? Family weekends, sleeping in Sundays...? What was so terrible about it? I am not saying women can't work or that men cant do a load of laundry and fold it and put it away. I am just saying we have forgotten our roles and places with each other and it has caused unhappiness, confusion, and so many other problems. Because deep down inside in the places we have chosen to forget and have blocked out... we are who we are... Women have a job and a purpose...we are the gathers and the care takers... Men have a job and a purpose...they are the hunters and protectors...beating their chests around the fire... and we as women wanted to beat our chests too, but didn't want all that came with it, and in the process messed everything and everyone up.

For me, I want that savage caveman. I want my man to be a man. I want him confident, large and in charge. I want to submit to him. I want to love him, cherish him, adore him, take care of him and stand beside him, kneel in submission to him and always let him know he is the MAN. It his his domain, he is the master and king and I am his precious queen. And I know if I do these things, I will be happy. He will be happy. He will do his job as my partner, friend, husband, king.... and I will want for nothing. And that is our jobs ladies. Is that really such a bad thing? Living a life of happiness knowing our places being cherished and adored... is that such a terrible fate? We still have say...we still work... we still have our sense of self and strength, we still play and have a life, but things are just back in the way they were meant to be....

We need to let our men be men and not try to change them or fix them. We want them to love us for who and what we are with out boundaries and rules... so we need to do the same. No more bait and switch. It's unfair and in the end you are gonna lose... Him.

Just something I have seen and learned in life.... take it or leave it. This is how I see it.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Girl in the Zebra Pumps: Auld Land Syne

The Girl in the Zebra Pumps: Auld Land Syne

Auld Land Syne

Well this is it... the last week of 2010. Man has it been a crazy kind of year. But I am not like alot of people who say "Man am I glad this year is over!". Have I wished it at times? Heck yeah!!! But you know every year, every minute is another minute that we all get and have to live. And I don't mean just wake up and breathe, I mean LIVE!!! And even with all of the highs and lows I would not change this last year, or anything that I did or happened. It is what has given me growth. Even the "Cancers" that were eliminated were there for a reason. Now I could sit here and berate them and what they did and blame them for this and that but what would be the point? They know the truth regardless. That it wasn't just one person, and it wasn't just me. And most people only choose to see the reality they create, so when the truth does come out, it's their own fault really. So the truth is, no I do not regret anything this last year, or years past. People make their own choices. And good, bad, or otherwise I make no apologies for myself. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. I do take my friends and family into consideration always. But in the end it's my life.

I have wonderful friends who accept me for who and what I am and believe and for the most part do not try to change me. Because I have no intentions of changing. I like who I am. I love to read, I love music of all kinds, I love the arts, I am independent. I am fiercely protective and loyal. I have been very blessed to have many talents, that I have finally learned to accept and be proud of. I am vain in that I do take care of myself. I may not exercise everyday, but I try to stay healthy. I do put on makeup everyday. I get my nails and toes done. I think it is very important I look good for me and my man. I don't make excuses. I just do it. I cook, I love to cook and I am good at it. I know I am a good mother. My children are wonderful, loving, kind human beings. I am very proud of them and their reflection of me.

I have a man who loves me passionately and very deeply. I don't try to change him or give my love boundaries or him boundaries. I let him be who he is. I find absolute joy in taking care of him and doing things for him. I love pleasing him. I love making him feel like a man... and not some emasculated shell of what should be a man. I know my place with him...(But that is another blog entirely)

I get to do what I love for a living and the people I hold as family and friends support this full heartedly and I appreciate it more than mere words can express. 

I am educated, funny, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and so many other great things. Yes I am bragging and saying I am complex :) but that is what we should be as humans. And I strive constantly to be better and to learn and glean knowledge from this life and past year.  I love camping, and fishing, and anything outdoors. I love sports and am very competitive... And I hope to do more of it.

I have love, family, friendship, and health.... and this last year truly has been a really good year, and a year I do not regret.... and I do not have to lie to myself or others about that. Do I have a June Cleaver kind of life? HELL NO!!! And I would not want that.... but what I do have, and will have is great, and I have no complaints. 

So here's to 2011 may it be filled with as much excitement, adventure, love, ups and downs as 2010 otherwise, why live... and what would be the point of looking forward?