Friday, April 1, 2011

On my soap box

Today I am angry. I am so angry at the world. At injustice. Maybe it's because I am an Aquarius I feel like I have to save the world... save the ozone, save the baby harp seals, save the dolphins, Stop the bullying, save the unwanted. Yeah I am THAT person. I post all the time on Facebook for my friends for cancer awareness... abuse awareness... I post for Reece's Rainbow.... and honestly I feel like a hamster on it's exercise wheel going no where. Do people really not give a damn unless it affects them directly?

I know it's more than my astrological sign... it has been put on my heart... more so since I was given the honor of being my son Gabriels' mother. He was a gift from God for me to love and to open my eyes... to becoming the student and him, my son the teacher.

I have so many affluent friends who post about how they go on trips, or eat at wonderful restaurants or are buying the latest toy either for their kids or for themselves.... But if you bring up disabilities or donating for the disabled or to save a child on Reece's Rainbow.... A LARGE MAJORITY go quiet and disappear. I will get nearly 100 birthday wishes, or 30 likes for a post on my son being in the J.R.O.T.C. but maybe only 1 like if I post a link to donate to help bring an abandoned Down syndrome orphan home here to America to be adopted and loved. To bring them to their forever family to live... so they don't die. The following is a post I just did on Facebook. Because I AM angry... and my heart is hurting. I just don't understand people who are good people turning a blind eye to the world around them. Pretending the things that are happening aren't not unless it suddenly happens to them... they pull their pristine blanket up around themselves so the ugliness and the dirtiness of the world doesn't affect them... so it doesn't touch them. So they don't have to acknowledge it and can go on feeling good about themselves while drinking their $6 latte from Starbucks and texting on their $400 iPhone planning their next ski trip to Vail. It just pisses me off.... I don't understand people or their hearts.

I look at my beautiful son and by the grace of God he was gifted to me... so he is alive and thriving and happy and loved.... but if not for that he may very well already be dead or languishing in an Eastern Europe orphanage, unloved and unwanted. MY heart breaks soundly just thinking that. And I worry, when he gets older... he'll be mocked and bullied and not even understand. And all he'll want is a friend and to give the abundant love in his heart, only to be pushed away and probably pushed down, rejected. What for? Because he is delayed, because he looks different? Because he looks funny? No.... because those peoples' parent turned a blind eye and did not teach their children to love and accept all people for their perfections and for their flaws. Those people are the same ones who do not pass on my links or like them... they pretend they don't hear me on my soap box... or roll their eyes because I am on a tangent or ranting. They are teaching their children it is okay to mock or ignore my son, because what I say makes them uncomfortable. I want to yell at them "TO GET OVER IT!!!" I am here and I am not going anywhere and I am going to stay on my soap box advocating for ALL those who are prejudiced against... or for those who have been abandoned.

It is my my duty... So here is what I posted:

Why is it people will change their status to promote their religion or political beliefs. Or for Cancer or abuse awareness.. but will not support or promote things regarding disabilities. They aren't contagious, you won't catch anything if you share one of my links or donate a couple bucks to save a disabled orphan. Enjoy your Starbucks... or Taco Bell.... I am an advocate and will continue to stand on my soap box.
It is what has been put on my heart by MY God to do. To Speak up and out for those who can't. For those who have been tossed aside as unworthy. I was given a precious gift in Gabriel and his life (with Gods help) opened my heart and eyes to... something bigger than me and now I have a mission and a purpose. A little 6 month old girl I fell in love with in the Ukraine with Down syndrome died. I was planning on trying to adopt her. I was too late. She was abandoned by her parents because she was broken. Tossed aside like trash, and I fell in love with her. Now she is dead. Because I was too late. I have been crying for days(and edit and addition bcse it's true) If she had been born to me or any one of you she'd be alive and thriving right this minute, but her beautiful, precious life was snuffed out because she wasn't worthy. I refuse to let children die. I refuse to let my sons get bullied because they are different. You will be a warrior to your God, to your politics, and to your beliefs... I am too a warrior for these things, but I CHOOSE to add a crest to my shield. I will be a warrior for those less fortunate, who are different, who are deemed "Unworthy" by most. You all love the pictures I post of Gabriel. Most of you love him and would stand next to me to fight for him. Stand next to me and fight for others like him. Raise awareness, be brave. Buy a shirt promoting disabilities and wear it proudly. Donate to save a child you don't know because it's the right thing to do. Stand beside me and Gabriel and promote love and acceptance. Stop the name calling, and the laughter and the bullying. Change your vocabulary. If we can have millions walking for a cure, we can have millions stop using the word "Retard" and saving orphans. My 2 cents..
**Sorry this was such a long post.... I just had to get ALL of that off my chest. May my darling little Marlena RIP along with her brother angel Nikita. I am so sorry I was too late baby girl :o( I loved you already and my heart and souls mourns you. May God forever hold you to his chest and show you, you are worthy and you were loved.

Don't just read this and go on your merry way.... comment... post a link... share... stand up and make a change... make a difference.


  1. This is amazing! I'm so sad for that little girl and others like her. I don't even know what to say. I'm speechless and my heart hurts.

  2. Thank you Brandi for that... My heart will always hurt for her...

  3. This is beautiful, so beautiful. My heart aches for your loss in this beautiful little girl, Marlena. And also, I thank you for your post here. My son is on the spectrum. Thank you for giving voice to what so much of us moms want to say. Thank you.