Something I realized

I am sitting here reading these amazing blogs by so many people I have, in such a short time, come to greatly admire... and I admit i feel something I am trying to define...

The absolute eloquence of their words. Their ability to pull me in, to make me laugh and usually to make me cry just astounds me. I feel something...I cannot say it's jealousy because to me jealousy comes from a place where you don't want good things for the person you are jealous of. I then lean towards envy... but really isn't envy a much prettier word than jealousy but really it's just the same thing.

I then have defined it as longing. I long with ALL that I am to be able to write like these men and women do with such artistry and depth... and I realized something... I probably never will. I am not a writer. I like to talk, I like to tell a story, but I do not understand prose, syntax, metaphor, and anthropomorphism - Actually let me re-phrase that, I do understand these things... I just do not know how to put them into writing. I read Living with Logan , Special Happens , In These Small Moments , The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom , Seven Yuck Mouths and Autism , Backpacking Dad, The Red Dress Club , Two Brothers Like No Other, Resonance , The Sassy Piehole, The Good, The Bad, The Family , Life According to Amberliegh, Mrs. Photography , Big Daddy Autism , and SO many other amazing blogs. These people I am in AWE of. Their words as most of the blogs I follow inspire me and touch my soul. They give the the laugh I was needing, the soap box to stand on, and the pain that causes my soul to cry... These people and the eloquent and visual way they write; leaves me with such longing.

I realize I will possibly never be this... I know I can only be me and talk and write the only way I know how. And I continue to read and be inspired. I check out the prompts given to inspire an amazing piece of written work, and someday I will have that, that one piece. I guess for me, I don't see myself as a stand out, just another "Mom Blog"... blogging about her cute kids and mundane life... Maybe, just maybe there is an inspiring writer in me. Maybe someone will be inspired to write something one day because of a post I wrote, or be moved to tears and or laughter. But today I guess I am just writing for me and to tell the story of my life, my family, my points of views, thoughts and advice... and maybe it's just for my family so they know me... really KNOW me and who I am and was, if for no one else. I'll just blend into the blogsphere with all of the other out of work, stay at home, work at home mothers and women. Just don't discount me or them yet.