Tuesday, February 15, 2011
"Lies, lies, lies YEAH... They're gonna get you!"
I love that song by "The Thompson Twins".
What lies do you tell yourself or those around you? What façade do you put forth to the rest of the world? And the bigger question is…. Do you yourself believe it?
There are people out there who tell lies to themselves to hide their private life or pains and believe in the world they make up and tell people in an innocent, broken kind of way. An innocent lie you tell others to keep your private life, private, not to manipulate or hurt another just trying to cope. You know when your spouse hurts your feelings, but you gloss over it.
Then there are people who are not only delusional, but are twisted, manipulative, and out and out liars. Who once they tell that first lie, have to keep the lies going because of what they started. These people are the most destructive and dangerous people. And from what I have experienced, they eventually seem to believe the manipulated poison they spew.
These people are insecure and self destructive… and very selfish. They like to play the martyr or the victim. They wallow in self pity and seem to like to be miserable and are unhappy if everyone around them has a life and are happy. They want to surround themselves in self pity. “Woes me…. My life sucks” or something very similar to this is their daily mantra. “Please pity me… look at how lousy everything in my life is” and those around them and who love or loved them suffer.
These people sit there and blame everything and everyone else for their misery. Nothing is ever their fault. The circumstances they find themselves in are never of their own doing. “You don’t want me” “You don’t love me” “I’m not good enough” and so forth and so on…. Looking for some kind of validation from those around them, instead of finding validation within or getting the help they so desperately need. Again, it’s not them, it’s everyone around them… it’s somebody elses’ fault, never theirs. They are innocent while they demonize others.
These people get so wrapped up in the twists and manipulations they create. They think they are so very clever too, more clever than those around them. Here is the dichotomy of these people… they are so insecure and so jealous of those around them, yet in the same breath hold themselves up higher. They think or act as if they are better. They will find ways to make those they hold as the reasons for their miserable existence, to look less than. They will tell any lie they can to make the people they are insecure and jealous about look bad or even as dangerous as they are. And yes these people can be very dangerous.
Their very words a poison… and the scary part again is they seem to believe the things they make up. Making people look like bad parents, or stalkers, or threats… when in fact the only threat is themselves. They hurt and destroy almost everything they touch because they cannot face reality. Cannot tell the truth even to themselves. So they destroy… selfishly destroy. And never ever admit to being wrong or never admit the truth. They never apologize, they just dodge and deflect. Eventually though, all those around them see through all the twists and manipulations. The real truths come out…. Reality seeps in and they end up broken and alone when all they had to be was honest with themselves and everyone else.
You could almost pity someone like this until they set out like the plague to hurt and defame you, all the while pretending to be something they aren’t and lying through their crooked teeth. You cannot pity someone this vile who knowingly distorts the truth to a reality that is false and does it with absolute intent and venom. These people even could be Borderline Personality Disorder and can be dangerous and need help.
So consider the depth of the lies you tell yourself and the eventual outcome when the truth finds its way into the light. And ask yourself is it really worth it? The innocent lies, may not be a big deal if they hurt no one… But if you set out to hurt someone in a passive/aggressive manner by lying & playing the victim, beware… Because once you start, it’s hard to stop, especially if you start believing the lies you tell yourself and that becomes your reality.