For me sexy is a state of mind. Sure, I think a tight pencil skirt, some patent heels, white see through blouse and pearls is sexy... but if you don't feel sexy in it, then it's not going to be sexy to anyone else.
Personally, I think I am a sexy woman. I have curves that I embrace, I have confidence in myself, and I am comfortable with who and what I am. I am sure there are some of you who know me thinking "Well yeah it's easy for you to be sexy, your're busty and out going and so forth" Really? Is that what you really think? So I guess Icons like Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, and Charlize Theron aren't sexy women? Because they aren't busty and super curvy, but they sure are sexy as hell... and not just on the red carpet... everyday in their jeans and t-shirts. They love themselves and they work with what they have.
My man has told me he thinks I am my sexiest when I have just woken up. Little to no makeup, hair a rats nest, crumpled and wrinkled. He tells me I am beautiful and I am sexy. I usually am thinking "Yeah buddy, wipe the sleep from your eyes and you may want to rethink that!" But deep down inside I am happy and smiling... because I am at that moment yummy to him.
Sexy isn't about curves and low cut tops, it's about owning your womanhood. It's about embracing and loving yourself... Believe it or not THAT is the mysterious quality that draws both men and women. They will sit there and try to put a finger on what it is about you that draws them to you. And you have to really work to keep this alive, through dishes, and 15 hour work days, and kids and everything else. It's a 3rd job loving yourself. But if I can do it, any woman can. But you have to get up off your butt and do it.
Why should your partner care if you don't... It's up keep, it's maintenance, it's actually not using or finding excuses to NOT take care of yourself. Whether you are overweight or blessed with skinny genes you can be sexy and love yourself no matter what size you are.
Yes, I am one of those women who take 5-10 minutes minimum each day to brush my teeth, brush my hair, and throw on some makeup. A little blush, lip gloss, eyebrows and mascara. Now you are thinking "Are you kidding me?? I am lucky if I have time to pee and throw a tic-tac in my mouth for both breakfast & as a freshener!!". I call B*llSh*t... 5-10 minutes to do something for yourself is not much. You are not doing it for him, or for the kids, (maybe for the cute veggie guy at the market), but for yourself, so when you pass a mirror you feel good. Throw on a bra... and a cute top and maybe jeans.... Make yourself feel good. Leave the sweats for working out. I get it... they are comfortable.. and if you really do feel sexy in them, okay. But if you feel frumpy, then toss them.
And yes this part IS for him... take 5-10 minutes at night before you get home or before he gets home and freshen up. Don't look as if you worked as hard as you did all day. You'd be surprised how even though he might not say it, but he does notice and appreciates it. And you might feel refreshed from your day by taking a second for yourself. I am a firm believer that if you look good it helps you to feel good about yourself.
And yes no matter what size you are or how old you are you can vamp it up for him every once in awhile. Surprise yourself and him by dressing up every once in awhile. Surprise him by cooking dinner in a cute apron, heels and sexy under garments... You might even feel giddy, and girlish by doing this. And you'll ignite a night and possibly weeks of some well warranted attention and loveyness (My word) from him. Plus you'll feel like one sexy bitch. But you have to already own your sexiness... Own your womanhood, or all you are going to do when you try this is possibly burn your breasts (Like Mrs.Doubtfire) and constantly be pulling that string out from god knows where in an uncomfortable "God I wish I was in my sweats" attitude.... That is not good.
I love those L'Oreal commercials where they say "Because I'm worth!" Darn it you are! Tell yourself you are worth it. Look in the the mirror and do not look at your flaws, find your beauty. Your beautiful eyes that hold laughter and knowledge. Your beautiful legs that have walked a thousand miles in YOUR shoes. Your beautiful mouth that soothes the worst of the worst. Your stunning face, that holds the story of your life and that someone either cherishes or will cherish. Your hips and tummy, that are meant to be soft and supple, great for slow dancing and cuddling. Strong beautiful shoulders that hold the weight of the world with grace and beautiful strength. Lines, wrinkles, age spots, grey hair, crows feet, muffin tops, "dimples", veins.... all of these are not flaws... you can change and alter them and there is nothing wrong with that. But these additional things are signs that we have lived well. That we have eaten well. That we have loved well. That we have lost well... and that we are still here... and we are luscious, lovely, sensuous, intelligent, provocative, SEXY women. OWN IT!!