Look how far we've come... Wordless Wed.

 

Top down.... and we drove

It was the summer.... it was night...It was an amazing night.

I had just gotten my new white convertible and I was in love with both the convertible and my man... my soul mate. We were very spontaneous that summer. We would just meet and go, we didn't care as long as we were together.

That night was perfect almost in every way. We talk or I should say talked about it a lot in the years to follow that night...

We got into that cute, white convertible and I let him drive. I wanted him to drive. I wanted to sit back and just take in the entire evening as it unfolded. Top down, Rascal Flatts playing among others, and us driving to Palms Springs just because we wanted to. A million stars to look at if you put your head back... And not a care in the world that night.

We laughed so much... talked all night... held hands the entire drive from Corona to Palm Springs... funny but everything seemed to have melted away. He had turned off his phone, like he did most of the times when we were together so he would not get calls or interruptions...just us...even on a crowded freeway it was just us.

I didn't care about the wind or what it was doing to my hair... he looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen... He even had told me he was still so shocked a total MILF like me, a true beauty was with him. That I found him handsome. Of course I found him handsome, he took my breath away just by being himself. And there we were... holding hands, or his hand on my thigh as we continued to drive, absorbed in the beauty of the drive and in the relationship we had, absorbed in each other.

We got to Palm Springs just to pull over into a secluded spot and to get out and lay there on the hood looking up into that amazing summer sky... holding each other... loving each other. Simple and pure you would have thought we were a couple of teenagers even though we weren't. Drinking in the quiet moment of just being together right then and there, giggling at the spontaneity of the night. A few wonderful, magical moments of a still night and a very real love. Moments later to sadly return to the car to drive back home... big sighs from us both because we didn't want to leave... not yet. We did though. 

And as we reached home he momentarily turned on his phone and got the call we both knew was coming and dreaded... not that it took away the beauty of that night or any night there after... but we always knew it was coming.... But THAT night was magical...and ours alone and we savored every moment of it and even after-wards we both sat together quiet letting it wash over us til the sun came up and we parted back into our lives.... Keeping it tucked close in our hearts... with a secret remembered smile.... with the top down... and we drove.....

It broke my heart

I have been sick for nearly two months now...going from bronchitis... to a cold/flu...to now a severe kidney infection. Let me tell you though, this kidney infection has knocked me on my butt, and really scared me. After I had my son in 2009 I went into congestive heart failure... my organs hurt... my insides hurt. That is what this felt like. Couple that with my having breathing issues... and strange heart palpitations... well I was very, very, worried.

That and my husband has been working crazy long hours and weekends. Then mother nature and her indecisive nature and mind as to whether it is still Winter or indeed Spring. One day it is stunningly beautiful and quasi warm giving us the hope it is Spring and we can bathe ourselves in it's hope and warmth... The next day all of it gone and it's windy, cloudy, and wet... no longer warm, no longer sunny. So I know I cannot depend on Mother Nature right now as she is bi-polar.

So officially no I did not plan a 2nd birthday party for my youngest and last child... my Porkachop. I already had decided we would wait until June perhaps when Mother Nature got her mood, meds and disorder under control... I thought about even sending Midol to her anonymously, but really how do you do that?

Regardless, I felt like the walking dead while the family was going along just nicely, except no one seemed to be treating my Porkchop like the birthday boy he was yesterday. Not even me. Yes when he woke up I picked him up and snuggled with him for all of the 5 seconds he would allow telling him happy birthday and how much I loved him... Before he wriggled free like the little jackbutt that he is and which also earned him his 2nd nickname from me "Satan". Even he didn't seem to care that he was officially two.

So I guess it was only my heart that was breaking that my baby is now an evil toddler. That there wasn't balloons, and a jumper, and a guy twisting balloons into flowers and swords. No face painters and piles of bright gifts and tons of kids running around tearing up my house....

On second thought I guess I can wait til June... but we did get him a cake since I was not up to making him one... and he did make a heck of a mess with it... My heart still broke though... he's not my baby... he's my boy and he's two.

What a little jackbutt for growing up... and not wanting to snuggle yesterday. My heart is sad.